(no subject)

[Filter: Private]

Fuck it. Just fuck it already. I know you're not trying to pull me through my own personal hell, Gebann, but if I didn't already know how rough this is for you, I would've already given up. You know what's keeping me going? I know it, but I just don't want to say it. I wish you knew how it felt to watch this all day, every day. Well, you do. But you don't even know what you're missing anymore. I know what we're both missing right now. And I shouldn't even be as angry as i am with you right now, but it's hard not to be.

How can you not remember me? How can you not remember how much you hated the thought of this life. You hate it there. You hate it so much, but you're pulling yourself through it by the skin of your teeth. And even though you hate it so much, you can't even look at any escape. I've tried everything I can think of to make you look sideways at your life in that dream. Nothing I do is even coming close to making you right again.

I know you're in hell right now, but I don't know how I'm going to do this.

[Filter: Franelcrew]

I'm going to take a walk, and get something to eat. I need a break badly right now.